P.O.W.E.R.: My Formula for Writing about Tough Stuff

P.O.W.E.R.

To guide writers into the ofttimes difficult job of creating a memoir, I have developed a formula. But to keep the suspense high, here is what this formula is not: As an editor, I’m all about syntax (word arrangement), grammar, spelling, word choice, and all those necessary components of quality writing. As a coach, I’m all about helping the writer identify their audience (who they are writing for), settle on their theme (point or argument), and improve in the art of dialogue, description, and scene creation. My formula isn’t about any of this. Keep reading.

I’m Not a Doctor, I Just Play One

Forgive me, it’s just some old-school humor. No, my college degree is in English, not Psychology. But my years of experience leading support groups and teaching classes for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) have given me extra insight into understanding the effects of trauma, grief, loss, as well as reflection on joyful or happier times gone by. Any time we take a walk through our memories, we never know what emotions we might stir up. I found my NAMI experience to be surprisingly helpful in working with people as they write their memoirs; an unexpected bonus, of sorts.

P.O.W.E.R.

My formula is not about grammar and syntax, or dialogue and scene creation. It is a guide for writing while exercising self-care and self-kindness. It’s P.O.W.E.R.

Pace yourself.

Own your feelings.

Write when you feel like it.

Ease into the tough stuff.

Reflect as you remember.

You see, there is no writing instruction here. It’s strictly about protecting your psyche as you delve into memories that at times might sting. Let me discuss each point of P.O.W.E.R.

P: Pace yourself

Let me congratulate you on deciding to write a book, be it a memoir or another genre. It takes courage to start a project this expansive. And it will take courage to finish it. Many first-time writers settle on a self-imposed deadline for their book; they set a date, usually completely arbitrary, by which they want their book published. Then the pressure’s on! They must produce a certain number of words each day to keep up with the schedule. Author Stephen King notoriously recommends writing 2,000 words each day, for a total of 180,000 words in three months. Folks, that’s Stephen King’s output, not mine or anyone else I know! Plus—spoiler alert—don’t write a 180,000-word anything as a first-time author, especially a memoir. Creating an outline for your book is an excellent idea and I highly recommend it. And if you are a very disciplined person, you can come up a timeline that corresponds to the sections of that outline, which can result in a projected date range to wrap up the writing and move into the next phase. But, first and foremost, the process of writing a book should be fun, or at least as much fun as you can garner from it. Self-imposed deadlines are a great way to rob yourself of whatever joy creating your book could offer.

O: Own your feelings

A memoir is not an academic treatise. If you hope to write your memoir without exploring your innermost thoughts and feelings, I suggest that you are not ready to write. Within your family, among your friends, maybe at work, you might gloss over pain or mistakes or abuse or anger. You might be so accustomed to sugar-coating your life’s experiences, you’ve forgotten how to be honest with others—and with yourself. I will ask my clients over and over, “But how did you feel?” If you have a story worth sharing—one that will offer a life lesson to your readers—you will have to dig deeply into your memories, your heart, your spirit, your soul. Grab onto what you find there and bring it into the light. The time for hiding is past.

W: Write when you feel like it

This point works in concert with the P, Pace yourself. If you inflict a self-imposed deadline on your project, you sacrifice giving yourself permission to create when and how it best suits you. There will be days when you write good stuff for hours—you’re in the zone, you’re firing on all cylinders, and other clichés. Then there will be days where you’re lucky to finish a page. You write a scene that consists of four paragraphs, read it, hate it, delete it. An hour later, you do it all over again. Writing is hard, but it shouldn’t feel like torture. If your writing is strained or forced, it shows and you know it. Give yourself a break.

E: Ease into the tough stuff

I know from working with new memoirists that writing a memoir can be emotionally exhausting. I have seen writers get anxious just thinking about the part of the memoir they’re going to be working on next. This is tough stuff. Books have been written about it, one of the best being Melanie Brooks’s Writing Hard Stories: Celebrated Memoirists Who Shaped Art from Trauma. I suggest two ways to come at this. One, just write the bare-bones version of a scene or incident. Report it like a news story. Write the facts and only the facts. During this first round, avoid emotional language to whatever degree the situation allows. Don’t reflect yet (the R in P.O.W.E.R.). Two, this method might work for you: make a few simple notes as a placeholder in the story, then leave it; return a day or two later and add a few more notes. Take baby steps. Do this until you have recounted the entire scene.

R: Reflect as you remember

A quality of memoir that sets it apart from every other genre is reflection. A memoir without reflection is like a murder mystery novel that ends without solving the mystery. By reflection I mean, don’t just recall a memory but analyze it. Merriam-Webster defines reflection as a thought, idea, or opinion formed or a remark made as a result of meditation. What emotion does the memory conjure? You know what happened (it’s your memory), but why did it happen? How did it happen? How did you feel at the time? How do you feel now? If your feelings or impressions changed over time, why did they? How does the scene play into setting up what else is coming in the book? Reflection in the now helps you put your past in perspective. Here’s where you figure out how what happened shaped you into who you are now for the purpose of this memoir.

Exercise P.O.W.E.R. as a Writer

Writing a book is not for the faint of heart. There are so many moving parts: theme, structure, grammar, supporting your argument, adding creative elements, what to put in, what to leave out. . . it can be the challenge of a lifetime. For my website’s blog, I have written several articles to help improve your writing:

Write with a Purpose Using Indexing

Best Writing and Editing Resources

How to Write Good Dialogue

Writing Sensory Description, Part 1 and Writing Sensory Description, Part 2

But P.O.W.E.R. is about you, as a person, tackling a big job. Don’t let the writing dominate you. Don’t let it drag you into your past and leave you there. This is your book and you are in control now—of the people, of the words, of the scenes. You decide who enters, what they do, and when they leave. They can’t stay longer than you want them to. They can’t say anything you don’t want them to say. Exercise your P.O.W.E.R.

In addition to working as a nonfiction and creative nonfiction editor and writing coach, I am co-author, with Dr. Terri Lyon, of the book Make a Difference with Mental Health Activism: No activism degree required—use your unique skills to change the world. Visit my website page Make a Difference and Dr. Lyon’s activism website Life At The Intersection to learn more about Make a Difference, including how to place bulk orders.

Sensitivity Readers: An Editing Specialty Comes of Age

We are a nation rich in diversity.

In June 2019, I posted an article to this blog called "Sensitivity Readers Are Not Censors." At that time, controversy was swirling around the role and appropriateness of the so-called sensitivity reader (SR). I had a hard time finding clear, positive discussions of what an SR was and what one does. Even the prestigious New York Times ran that article titled “In an Era of Online Outrage, Do Sensitivity Readers Result in Better Books, or Censorship?” by Alex Alter that was as unflattering as you could get about SRs.

This go-round, I will tell you what SRs actually do and why now, a mere year and a half later, the need for writers and publishers to employ SRs is the norm and not the exception.

SRs Aren’t Going Away

The Chicago Manual of Style weighed in on these issues in Section 5.254: Bias and the editor’s responsibility. It says in part:

A careful editor points out to authors any biased terms or approaches in the work (knowing, of course, that the bias may have been unintentional), suggests alternatives, and ensures that any biased language that is retained is retained by choice.

Conscious Language

Conscious language is a term coined by Conscious Style Guide founder Karen Yin. According to Yin, conscious language is the art of using words effectively in a specific context. Who is your audience? What tone and level of formality do you want? What are you trying to achieve? Some words are more apt than others. The most important part of conscious language is the conscious part—our intention.

Conscious Style Guide described itself as:

…the first website devoted to conscious language. Our mission is to help writers and editors think critically about using language—including words, portrayals, framing, and representation—to empower instead of limit. In one place, you can access style guides covering terminology for various communities and find links to key articles debating usage. We study words so that they can become tools instead of unwitting weapons.

Yin’s website is replete with resources from scores of other websites (divided into sensitivity categories), a newsletter, blog, and, of course, the obligatory store.

What Sensitivity Readers Offer

Crystal Shelley is a full-time editor, proofreader and sensitivity reader who works as Rabbit with a Red Pen. In addition, Crystal is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW).

According to Crystal, authors, editors, and publishers employ sensitivity readers to accomplish four goals:

• Strengthen the story

• Identify potential harmful elements of the writing

• Assess the effectiveness of the language

• Evaluate biases

While the role of a sensitivity reader is most often associated with editing fiction, an SR’s specialty is applicable to all forms of writing, including blogs, memoirs, and long-form essays. Sensitivity readers strengthen writing by helping the writer with these elements:

• Character description

• Dialogue and character behaviors

• Cultural elements and settings

The role of an SR is to flag problems with language, but, most importantly, they will offer alternative language and depictions.

How can a sensitivity reader strengthen writing? An SR reads with the goal of rooting out language that is:

• Disrespectful

• Excluding

• Stigmatizing

• Presumptive

Writing that is devoid of harmful, derogatory, and disrespectful language builds trust; readers can see the author cared enough to do their homework.

Diversity Baseline Survey

Lee & Low Books released the first Diversity Baseline Survey 1.0 in 2015. Before the DBS, people suspected publishing had a diversity problem, but without hard numbers, the extent of that problem was anyone’s guess. The goal was to survey publishing houses and review journals to capture information about their employees, their publishing workforce, regarding these categories:

• Race

• Gender

• Sexual orientation

• Disability (chronic, physical, and mental illness)

The results of DBS 1.0 were shocking. The publishers' survey respondents were identified as:

• 79 percent White

• 78 percent women

• 88 percent straight

• 92 percent non-disabled

As readers had begun to demand to see themselves depicted in books, the publishing industry itself did not reflect the diversity of our country's populace.

The numbers provided by DBS 1.0 brought into sharp focus the need of publishers to place more books into the marketplace that represent our country's rich diversity, but initially, this effort was apparent only in the children's book market. Cultural events and political and social movements in the five years since the DBS 1.0 cannot be ignored by the industry.

Diversity in Publishing Matters

According to a Lee and Low blog article from January 2020, the book industry has the power to shape culture in big and small ways. The people behind the books serve as gatekeepers, who can make a huge difference in determining which stories are amplified and which are shut out. If the people who work in publishing are not a diverse group, how can diverse voices truly be represented in its books?

Are You Out of Step?

If you do not grasp the importance of diversity in writing, and the need to accurately and kindly represent people of different races, genders, orientation, and disabilities, you are out of step with the US publishing industry. One could argue you are out of step with humanity. If a discussion of sensitivity to “the other” in your writing doesn’t speak to your heart, I am reminded of a quote from Dr. Anthony Fauci:

I don’t know how to explain to you that you should care for other people.

Best Writing and Editing Resources

Trish's favorite books on writing

This should really be titled "Trish's Favorite Writing and Editing Resources." There are scores, maybe hundreds, of similar articles online. These are what I consider the essentials for being a writer or editor. And I've only scratched the surface.

I start with the basics, for those needing guidance with grammar rules and language mechanics. I then list several more advanced resources for those who need help with developing their writing style, tone, and presentation. Finally, I offer a short list of essential online tools.

The Basics: Grammar, Punctuation, Mechanics

The Elements of Style by William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White. If you buy only one grammar and composition guide (but why would you do that?), this is the one. What hasn’t been said about this little gem? First published in 1959, The Elements of Style is a perennial bestseller, available in a variety of versions, such as an annotated edition, an edition with a study guide, a 4th edition published in 1999, and a new inexpensive e-book version published in October 2020.

On Writing Well by William Zinsser. Here’s another classic owned by almost every writer and editor. The 30th Anniversary Edition was published in May 2006. Zinsser is a superstar journalist, magazine contributor, book author, editor, and university teacher.

100 Ways to Improve Your Writing by Gary Provost. This book is chockful of grammar rules. But it is more than just a grammar guide. You’ll find chapters on how to write an awesome beginning, overcome writer’s block, and ten ways to develop your style. A little powerhouse of a book. First published in 1972, an affordable mass market edition was published in May 2019.

Dreyer’s English: An Utterly Correct Guide to Clarity and Style by Benjamin Dreyer. This book appears on many lists of “must have” writing reference guides. Dreyer’s English is notable for its humor and occasional tongue-in-cheek approach to the material. It is best appreciated by reading it in its entirety rather than thumbing through it as you might with other reference guides. Random House published a trade paperback edition in August 2020.

I’m also a fan of Woe Is I: The Grammarphobe’s Guide to Better English in Plain English by Patricia T. O’Conner. Informative but witty and lighthearted. Grab a copy if you get the chance. The 4th edition was published in February 2019.

Now, my personal choices for the absolute most basic grammar books you should add to your reference library.

Hodges Harbrace Handbook/ The Writer’s Harbrace Handbook. During his tenure as a University of Tennessee (Knoxville) English professor in the 1930s, John C. Hodges obtained federal funding to support his study of the frequency of errors in college students’ essays. He collected 20,000 student papers, analyzed the errors in those papers, and used those findings to create the original Harbrace Handbook of English. When Hodges died in 1967, the textbook was in its sixth edition and was renamed Hodges Harbrace College Handbook. I owned a copy during my high school years in the 1970s and took it with me as my writer’s bible to my first professional writing job in 1979. I kept that edition for years. Since then, I’ve owned as many as three different editions at one time, because you can pick them up inexpensively in used bookstores. And I couldn’t help myself.

This handbook is so solid and complete, it did not undergo a significant revision until the 13th edition in 1990.

Now called The Writer’s Harbrace Handbook, written by Cheryl Glenn and Loretta Gray, this version is in its 5th edition, last published in 2012. The new 6th Edition Writer’s Harbrace Handbook (with APA 7e Updates) will be available December 16, 2020. This book is still compiled with student writers in mind. In addition to grammar, punctuation, spelling, and language mechanics, it features sections on rhetorical reading and writing, essays, research, managing academic writing, and composing arguments. It can be purchased in hardcover, paperback, and purchased or rented as an e-textbook.

Advanced Writing Resources

If you have a handle on the basic rules of English grammar, you should fill your library with books that help you develop your personal style and make you a writer of quality prose. Here are a few of the books almost all authors and editors recommend.

Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. A favorite among writers of fiction and nonfiction, it’s loaded with great advice and makes for an entertaining read. “Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.”

The Forest for the Trees: An Editor’s Advice to Writers by Betsy Lerner. Another fun, pleasant read that’s brimming with tons of priceless mentoring from a famous literary agent and acclaimed editor.

Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within by Natalie Goldberg. Guidelines for creativity and story development are told in an entertaining style. Writing Down the Bones offers hints of memoir, personal essay, and humor. Another great book for your library.

On Writing by Stephen King. It’s Stephen King, right? He’s a darn good writer. But my experience with this book is that King’s advice on creating a daily writing schedule can be a bit daunting. If you have a full-time job, school, and/or a home and family, his daily goals can be tough to achieve and many readers have gotten discouraged. If you read this book while acknowledging that you are not trying to be Stephen King, you’ll be fine.

Online Writing and Editing Resources

There are hundreds of online tools to guide, assist, and mentor writers and editors. So many, that I've chosen only three that offer basic but genuinely helpful writing assistance.

Grammarly is a helpful resource for grammar rules. It is free and wildly popular. But beware—at times, Grammarly is just plain wrong about the changes it suggests. Sometimes it flags words and phrases it doesn’t like but that are not necessarily incorrect. As a writer, you should know grammar rules—but as you grow as a writer, you will decide how and when to break those rules for a desired effect. Don’t let Grammarly cramp your style.

Hemingway Editor is popular as a free online writing and editing resource. It’s good and, in general, will help you streamline and tighten up your prose. But I don’t always agree with it. If you don’t understand Ernest Hemingway’s style and why so many strive to emulate it, I’ve talked about it in a couple of my blog posts: Overwriting, The Death of Clarity and A Work of Fiction is Not a Fill-in-the-blank Game.

A readability score roughly estimates the level of education someone would need to easily read a passage of text and comprehend it. A readability score of your work is more important than you might realize. Your prose readability score should align with your intended audience; you don't want to talk down to or over the head of your readers. There are numerous readability score tools online; I recommend Readability Test Tool as an easy-to-use, free option. Copy and paste chunks of your writing into this tool to receive your score.

Many Microsoft Word users don’t know that Word can give you a readability score and grade level of your documents. Open an existing document and try it out now. Here’s how it works:

1. Go to File > Options.

2. Select Proofing.

3. Under When correcting spelling and grammar in Word, make sure the Check grammar with spelling check box is selected.

4. Select Show readability statistics.

After you enable this feature, open a file that you want to check, and check the spelling by pressing F7 or going to Review > Spelling & Grammar. When Word finishes checking the spelling and grammar, it displays information about the reading and grade levels of the document.

Deciding what to include for this post was difficult. As I said, this barely scratches the surface of books and online tools available to help you improve your writing and editing skills. I'd like to know what resources you rely on. Drop your favorites in the comment box.