Three-act Structure for Memoir Ensures the Best Read

Memoir groups on social media debate regularly about how to structure a memoir. As a memoir writing coach, I take what I assume is a conventional approach to memoir structure, one in which the stories are divided into three acts, like a play. I coach novice memoirists in this approach because I think it gives the writer the greatest chance of producing a coherent and engaging memoir.

This three-act structure is not for pantsers—those who write when and how the urge hits, who don’t follow a roadmap on their journey, but just start off and go wherever the storytelling wind takes them. No, developing and following a three-act structure for a memoir forces you, within reason, to follow an outline that moves you in a predictable way—from the introduction of your circumstance to its resolution. To do this, the writer must be a planner.

So, what is the three-act structure for memoir and is it for you?

The Classic Three-act Structure

The three-act structure is the basis of narrative fiction, creative nonfiction, and plays. It is not specific to memoir writing, it is just where I apply it in my coaching since I don’t work with fiction. My Google search for the phrase three-act structure came back with more than five billion results. Five billion. So, if you want to read more about this method, you won’t have any trouble finding information! And that’s good, because I’m not going to spend time describing it here.

My search results also came back with scores upon scores of images that illustrate this structure. They were all informative and showed the same information as this one:

Here’s another, with slight adjustments to the climax of Act Two and what’s included in Act Three:

But, as you can see, they are effectively the same structure.

I’m not going to explain which stories go into which act; as a writing coach, I will be happy to guide you through that process for your memoir. What I am going to do is explain why I believe that following this structure is the best (though not necessarily the easiest) way to produce a memoir that accomplishes everything a memoir is supposed to accomplish:

• Presents a clear theme (the author’s argument)

• Shows what is at stake for the author (the problem to be fixed in this memoir)

• Describes what challenges are encountered

• Shows how the author fails to overcome those challenges

• Identifies the disaster (biggest challenge, final straw), the point at which the author knows the situation cannot go on and must change

• Offers the resolution to the problems faced throughout the memoir

• Concludes when the author has become the person they want to be

To follow the three-act structure, you will have to really work as a writer. It is for those you dare take on the challenge of becoming an author.

The #1 Mistake in Memoir Writing

If you read my other blog articles on memoir, you will see that I can’t say enough about what the purpose of memoir is. And I can’t say it any more clearly than I did in Memoir is a Journey Story. If you haven’t read that one, stop and do so now. I’ll wait. . . .

So what is the #1 mistake that first-time memoir writers make? I’ve talked about the four most common memoir writing mistakes in this article. But since writing that, I have found that the most common mistake is not having a clear point or reason for the memoir—a clear, concise answer to the question, “Why are you writing this?” Related to that, I ask, “What lesson have you learned that you are going to share with the reader?” As I’ve said before:

No meaning, no memoir. No transcendence, no memoir. No takeaway for the reader, no memoir.

Frankly, I’ve lost potential memoir coaching clients over this. But that’s OK. Let me be clear about how deeply I want to help someone write a truly good memoir! Maybe even a great one. If I’m coaching you, we agreed that you, the writer, are serious about producing a memoir that has an interesting point, a clearly defined audience, and a strong, satisfying conclusion.

And by satisfying, I don’t mean where all problems have disappeared and everything is rainbows and butterflies. As I tell my coaching clients, your memoir will end when you reach the point where you have risen to your challenges to the best of your ability. If yours is a story of a marriage in decline, you might ultimately get divorced. You did all you could and, yet, the marriage dissolved. And you accept this reality and the change this journey has resulted in. You don’t need a happily ever after but you need to show your transformation and the lessons you learned from it.

Finally. . .

Writing is hard. Writing memoir is really hard. And yes, you can quote me on that! It’s hard mentally, physically, and, maybe most of all, emotionally. I gave my advice for working through the challenges of writing your memoir in this article about cutting yourself some slack. And I’ve suggested stepping stones for building up to tackling a memoir in this article about journaling.

If you are ready to tell your journey story, I’m ready to guide you. Please let me know how you feel about applying the three-act structure to memoir writing in the comments below.

In addition to working as a nonfiction and creative nonfiction editor and writing coach, I am co-author, with Dr. Terri Lyon, of the book Make a Difference with Mental Health Activism: No activism degree required—use your unique skills to change the world. Visit my website page Make a Difference and Dr. Lyon’s activism website Life At The Intersection to learn more about Make a Difference, including how to place bulk orders.

P.O.W.E.R.: My Formula for Writing about Tough Stuff

P.O.W.E.R.

To guide writers into the ofttimes difficult job of creating a memoir, I have developed a formula. But to keep the suspense high, here is what this formula is not: As an editor, I’m all about syntax (word arrangement), grammar, spelling, word choice, and all those necessary components of quality writing. As a coach, I’m all about helping the writer identify their audience (who they are writing for), settle on their theme (point or argument), and improve in the art of dialogue, description, and scene creation. My formula isn’t about any of this. Keep reading.

I’m Not a Doctor, I Just Play One

Forgive me, it’s just some old-school humor. No, my college degree is in English, not Psychology. But my years of experience leading support groups and teaching classes for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) have given me extra insight into understanding the effects of trauma, grief, loss, as well as reflection on joyful or happier times gone by. Any time we take a walk through our memories, we never know what emotions we might stir up. I found my NAMI experience to be surprisingly helpful in working with people as they write their memoirs; an unexpected bonus, of sorts.

P.O.W.E.R.

My formula is not about grammar and syntax, or dialogue and scene creation. It is a guide for writing while exercising self-care and self-kindness. It’s P.O.W.E.R.

Pace yourself.

Own your feelings.

Write when you feel like it.

Ease into the tough stuff.

Reflect as you remember.

You see, there is no writing instruction here. It’s strictly about protecting your psyche as you delve into memories that at times might sting. Let me discuss each point of P.O.W.E.R.

P: Pace yourself

Let me congratulate you on deciding to write a book, be it a memoir or another genre. It takes courage to start a project this expansive. And it will take courage to finish it. Many first-time writers settle on a self-imposed deadline for their book; they set a date, usually completely arbitrary, by which they want their book published. Then the pressure’s on! They must produce a certain number of words each day to keep up with the schedule. Author Stephen King notoriously recommends writing 2,000 words each day, for a total of 180,000 words in three months. Folks, that’s Stephen King’s output, not mine or anyone else I know! Plus—spoiler alert—don’t write a 180,000-word anything as a first-time author, especially a memoir. Creating an outline for your book is an excellent idea and I highly recommend it. And if you are a very disciplined person, you can come up a timeline that corresponds to the sections of that outline, which can result in a projected date range to wrap up the writing and move into the next phase. But, first and foremost, the process of writing a book should be fun, or at least as much fun as you can garner from it. Self-imposed deadlines are a great way to rob yourself of whatever joy creating your book could offer.

O: Own your feelings

A memoir is not an academic treatise. If you hope to write your memoir without exploring your innermost thoughts and feelings, I suggest that you are not ready to write. Within your family, among your friends, maybe at work, you might gloss over pain or mistakes or abuse or anger. You might be so accustomed to sugar-coating your life’s experiences, you’ve forgotten how to be honest with others—and with yourself. I will ask my clients over and over, “But how did you feel?” If you have a story worth sharing—one that will offer a life lesson to your readers—you will have to dig deeply into your memories, your heart, your spirit, your soul. Grab onto what you find there and bring it into the light. The time for hiding is past.

W: Write when you feel like it

This point works in concert with the P, Pace yourself. If you inflict a self-imposed deadline on your project, you sacrifice giving yourself permission to create when and how it best suits you. There will be days when you write good stuff for hours—you’re in the zone, you’re firing on all cylinders, and other clichés. Then there will be days where you’re lucky to finish a page. You write a scene that consists of four paragraphs, read it, hate it, delete it. An hour later, you do it all over again. Writing is hard, but it shouldn’t feel like torture. If your writing is strained or forced, it shows and you know it. Give yourself a break.

E: Ease into the tough stuff

I know from working with new memoirists that writing a memoir can be emotionally exhausting. I have seen writers get anxious just thinking about the part of the memoir they’re going to be working on next. This is tough stuff. Books have been written about it, one of the best being Melanie Brooks’s Writing Hard Stories: Celebrated Memoirists Who Shaped Art from Trauma. I suggest two ways to come at this. One, just write the bare-bones version of a scene or incident. Report it like a news story. Write the facts and only the facts. During this first round, avoid emotional language to whatever degree the situation allows. Don’t reflect yet (the R in P.O.W.E.R.). Two, this method might work for you: make a few simple notes as a placeholder in the story, then leave it; return a day or two later and add a few more notes. Take baby steps. Do this until you have recounted the entire scene.

R: Reflect as you remember

A quality of memoir that sets it apart from every other genre is reflection. A memoir without reflection is like a murder mystery novel that ends without solving the mystery. By reflection I mean, don’t just recall a memory but analyze it. Merriam-Webster defines reflection as a thought, idea, or opinion formed or a remark made as a result of meditation. What emotion does the memory conjure? You know what happened (it’s your memory), but why did it happen? How did it happen? How did you feel at the time? How do you feel now? If your feelings or impressions changed over time, why did they? How does the scene play into setting up what else is coming in the book? Reflection in the now helps you put your past in perspective. Here’s where you figure out how what happened shaped you into who you are now for the purpose of this memoir.

Exercise P.O.W.E.R. as a Writer

Writing a book is not for the faint of heart. There are so many moving parts: theme, structure, grammar, supporting your argument, adding creative elements, what to put in, what to leave out. . . it can be the challenge of a lifetime. For my website’s blog, I have written several articles to help improve your writing:

Write with a Purpose Using Indexing

Best Writing and Editing Resources

How to Write Good Dialogue

Writing Sensory Description, Part 1 and Writing Sensory Description, Part 2

But P.O.W.E.R. is about you, as a person, tackling a big job. Don’t let the writing dominate you. Don’t let it drag you into your past and leave you there. This is your book and you are in control now—of the people, of the words, of the scenes. You decide who enters, what they do, and when they leave. They can’t stay longer than you want them to. They can’t say anything you don’t want them to say. Exercise your P.O.W.E.R.

In addition to working as a nonfiction and creative nonfiction editor and writing coach, I am co-author, with Dr. Terri Lyon, of the book Make a Difference with Mental Health Activism: No activism degree required—use your unique skills to change the world. Visit my website page Make a Difference and Dr. Lyon’s activism website Life At The Intersection to learn more about Make a Difference, including how to place bulk orders.

Memoir is a Journey Story

A memoir is a gift to your readers.

A memoir without a thought-provoking takeaway for the reader (a resolution, in writing terminology) is like a movie that ends with a cliff-hanger or a mystery novel that remains unsolved in the final chapter. What is the point? To think that a memoir doesn’t need a point is to miss the unique characteristic of memoir entirely.

Memoirists as Teachers

Memoirists are—or should be—teachers. I don’t mean teachers in the traditional sense of someone who stands before an assembled group in a classroom to offer instruction in a subject area, like geometry or chemistry or English composition. A memoirist teaches a lesson they have learned from the experiences of their life. A personal lesson but with a universal connection—that’s the key!

A memoir is not the recounting of stuff that happened to you. Stuff happens to everybody. A proper memoir must contain reflection; time and distance between the events told in the memoir and the time of the writing are required to allow for the author’s insightful recounting as to the meaning of those events and the transcendence they created in the author’s life. No meaning, no memoir. No transcendence, no memoir. No takeaway for the reader, no memoir.

What Lesson Will You Share?

In my opinion, there is an element of altruism to memoir writing. At least, that’s how I explain it. A focus on something other than yourself. This is the subtlety of memoir that so many writers fail to comprehend. A quote I have included in at least three other blog articles I’ve written, the words of memoir expert Marion Roach Smith, is the basis for this opinion:

Memoir is not about you. It’s about something and you are its illustration.

Think about this. Your memoir is not about you! Does this conflict with what you think a memoir is?

Are You Ready to Write a Memoir?

In another blog article I wrote titled Is It Time to Write Your Memoir? I stress the importance of allowing yourself time to process your life experiences and see them as objectively as possible; reflect (that word again) and honestly decide if you have learned anything from what you’ve been through. If you can only feel pain or anger or regret, and you can’t articulate whether you have gone through a transcendence (that word again) and come out the other side enlightened, I contend you are not ready to write a memoir.

Keeping a journal to work through feelings and analyze how and why things happened as they did and the effect it had on you is a wise first step in visualizing how you have learned, changed, and grown from your experiences. I talk more about this in another of my articles, Writing About Trauma. Until you have an a-ha moment—a moment of sudden insight, comprehension, or discovery—it will be enormously difficult to write a memoir with a clear theme, the lesson you will share with your reader.

If done properly, the writing of a memoir is a gift the author offers to their audience—the people the author most wants to read their book—because those are the people the writer most wants to help and guide through a personal storm. As the author has emerged from the turbulence of abuse, divorce, grief, or addiction, for example, they have chosen to share their journey and explore the path that brought them to a place of peace, triumph, happiness, or even just acceptance of their reality.

Are you ready to create such a gift?